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What's the most horrible pop song ever written and performed? Does it have:

1. an annoying melody that is catchy. To stop it playing in your head, over and over again, you would cheerfully club your own head with a frozen leg of lamb.

2. words should be meaningless drivel e.g. "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic." (Barbie Girl, by Aqua) Or illiterate e.g."I really, really, really wanna zig-a-zig-ah!" (Spice Girls, Wannabe). Or can the words only be explained if you are told that it was composed by someone with a head injury: "In the desert you can't remember your name because there ain't noone for to give you no pain." (Horse, America) Or are the words very trivial e.g. "Come and smile, don't be shy, touch my bum, this is life, Oh" (the Cheeky Girls, Touch my Bum).

3. serious performers only. It's not ok to mock the genre, even in a loving way.

4. major sales, enough to leave you shaken in disbelief.

For my two cents, check out this song, by Ohio Express, from 1968. It lasts only 2 minutes. But the after effects last a long time. It's the aural equivalent of having cuddled a rod of uranium. It stays with you like herpes. The first line is "Yummy yummy yummy I feel love in my tummy". I feel contempt and disgust in my tummy.



If there is other stuff out there you can tell me about, let me know. However I won't thank you for it, you sadistic bastards.

Kenny is coming back for an encore, I can feel it...

Oh that's that burger king jingle from the 90's.

Are we listing songs that we hate because they're catchy and we wish we could stop hearing them or songs which we like because they're catchy but our brains tell us we shouldn't like because they're terrible pop drivel?

werdna wrote:What's the most horrible pop song ever written and performed? Does it have:

1. an annoying melody that is catchy. To stop it playing in your head, over and over again, you would cheerfully club your own head with a frozen leg of lamb.
you sadistic bastard.

Not fair; you started with the all time winner in my book.

I was thinking of offering 'Young Girl' by Gary Puckett & The Union Gap but it's not so much that it's bad by your parameters, it just sounds creepier every time I hear it.

So, although it technically has lyrics, I offer this under section 1.
And it was a big hit.

Any parent will understand and sympathise...

LET IT FUCKING GO

The cold never bothered me anyway...

Look what you've done, I now need a FROZEN leg of lamb...

werdna wrote: For my two cents, check out this song, by Ohio Express, from 1968.

The Ramones claimed that all they did was play bubblegum music. The comment was taken as wonderfully whimsical by most people but yeah, I can see what they meant.

Pretty much every R&B / Rap song since the mid nineties.

Thunderstruck meets all of those criteria

I know it's not a song in particular. but if anything Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, or Adele style comes on, and I don't have access to the power button or the volume knob... well a knitting needle through the eardrum seems a good way to deal with it.

I used to work in a place where the boss insisted the radio be on some hits / pop station I don't know which one, but some of the songs which are now indented in my brain contain lyrics such as these:

if you want to go and take a ride with me
We 3-wheeling in the fo' with the gold D's

I'm like a bird
I'll only fly away
I don't know where my soul is

Come my lady
Come come my lady
you're my butterfly
Sugar.baby

Luckily a lot of my work involved circular saws and hearing protection.

HackSaw wrote:Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, or Adele

I can't really stand Celine for very long but I actually like and respect these singers for their talent. I actually went to Mariah Carey when she came. (It wasn't that good tho, too much pop fluff and not enough pure singing).
I like Psy. That ear worms well.
Sorry by Justin Beiber gets stuck in my head, and I ashamedly don't mind.
Katy Perry gets annoying but even then I can put up with it for a while.
I think it's the modern dance EDM pop stuff that I hate most. It's got a tune that might get stuck, but there's no feels at all. Hear it all the time at the gym.