Finally a new original **UPDATED**

[Jenesis]

Good stuff, by the way.

Nice cameo by the young fella, just checking to see you're not scratching his guitar.

Cheers mate - that was the young Miss, though

Haha, whoops.

[Tsuken]

She's the one with the mass of curly hair. As a boy, he couldn't really go through the topknot stage, and without that it would have been (well, it was, actually) in his eyes and causing problems until it got properly long. Later - if he wants it

[rob_on_guitar]

I been listening to this track quite a bit!
I like the opening chords alot, one thing Id probably do is double all the rythmn gats and you already mentioned the drums :p
The start is sweet, then it goes super sweet at 00:36 - 00:53, awesomeage!
Also worthy mentions are 2:12 - 2:23 & 3:31 - 3:40ish, kick ass!

If I were to put my 5 cents in, at around 2:49 would be a nice place to add a 30 sec little break for the song, keeping the flow but adding some dynamics, then I'd probably come back and join up around where the song is at 4:28.

Don't know if that made sense, but this song will be killer!

[Slowy]

Hey Tsuken,
Love your sense of melody & you've got great chops.
My suggestion: Lots of melody spiced with a sprinkling of chops to build & release tension.
Even at this stage, it's a great listen. I think you're on to a winner.
Respect.

[Tsuken]

sounds like it was badly mixed on hi-fi speakers!!!


only joking, will grab a listen later...

Everything of mine is badly mixed :/ Better than it used to be, but still bad

[Tsuken]

I been listening to this track quite a bit!
I like the opening chords alot, one thing Id probably do is double all the rythmn gats and you already mentioned the drums :p
The start is sweet, then it goes super sweet at 00:36 - 00:53, awesomeage!
Also worthy mentions are 2:12 - 2:23 & 3:31 - 3:40ish, kick ass!

If I were to put my 5 cents in, at around 2:49 would be a nice place to add a 30 sec little break for the song, keeping the flow but adding some dynamics, then I'd probably come back and join up around where the song is at 4:28.

Don't know if that made sense, but this song will be killer!

Thanks rob I can definitely see/hear what you mean about a break of some sort at 2:49. Good idea, thanks. So you'd shorten the song overall as well, by the sound of it

[Tsuken]

I been listening to this track quite a bit!
I like the opening chords alot, one thing Id probably do is double all the rythmn gats and you already mentioned the drums :p
The start is sweet, then it goes super sweet at 00:36 - 00:53, awesomeage!
Also worthy mentions are 2:12 - 2:23 & 3:31 - 3:40ish, kick ass!

If I were to put my 5 cents in, at around 2:49 would be a nice place to add a 30 sec little break for the song, keeping the flow but adding some dynamics, then I'd probably come back and join up around where the song is at 4:28.

Don't know if that made sense, but this song will be killer!

Just thinking about it: the first part of the solo - over the verse section - could go soft/slow (that is indeed about 30 seconds), and then back up to speed for the chorus section of the solo (the C D Em bit). I might have a crack at that.

[NZRS-Dave]

Wow, that was pretty cool. No diss to Sam, but I am really not sure what he's hearing. I liked it, because it sounded like a good Raf piece ... and when you are putting out an album you kinda want each track to sound similar but not the same.

I think the final version with mixed drums will be cool.

As a suggestion, I heard some sort of keyboard vocal type pads ... or could even be live vocal 'ahs' at the end ... not as a lead instrument but as a rhythm instrument in the background ... building up to the rob_on_guitar-esque harmonised arpeggios at the end.

I liked it as it was and I wonder if changing anything in it might sound like you added something for the sake of adding something. I think the reason I liked it was that it was just a nice piece of music ... I woulda have liked some more mad shreddage personally but I concede it's not in keeping with the style of the piece.

You can change key, change time, change instrument, change feel or just not play for a section to add a change. Know any sax players?

[Hot_Grits]

My initial thoughts were in the Sam Browne vein, but the 'problem' with Sam's approach is that he essentially wants to hear a different piece of music by a different player. I understand where he's at on that, but it's obvious that you're playing a type of music and style of playing that you want to, so it's kind of weird to expect you to drop everything and do something else with it.

So my advice is within the box, so to speak: Work on your timing when improvising. Outside of the melody parts many of the lines were a bit floaty in relation to the backing, especially when you get busy on it. If your interest is that 80s style instrumental guitarist thing you're not going to really make your schtick sound musical until your lines really sound they were played with the piece rather than lathered on top. And the key to that is rhythm, especially when improvising. Sounding like you mean it is really just never losing the one, especially at the end of a line. Pretty much anyone (yourself included, I'm sure) can write and piece together coherent stuff bit by bit, but to do that while improvising requires a lot of listening and really being in the moment.

Try the old 'sing as you play' thing for a bit. It really works. It can get a bit 'speaking in tongues' when you're doing fast stuff, but it's a great way of synchronising the end of a line in your head with your hands. And the way you end a fast line is in many ways more critical to what the line is or even whether you go a bit all over the place timing-wise in the middle. As Greg Howe once said: it doesn't really matter what notes you play, as long as the phrase makes sense.

Personally I found this stuff really hard. I used to record myself and listen to the lines and how I'd blow past the one and lose any sense of phrasing, and it was very hard to tell myself that while my fingers were fast and synchronised I really wasn't able to turn that physicality into music. In effect I had to tell myself I didn't have the chops I thought I had after all.

Anyways, that's my opinion. It might seem a bit disconnected when other folks are saying things like 'sweet chops' but it's honestly what I'm hearing. And I get the feeling that if you got on top of what I'm talking about you'd enjoy what you do even more than you do now. That can't be a bad thing.

[sambrowne]

Yeah I think Marty is kind of right in a way. It's fair to say our tastes are very different Raf, but you obviously have a strong idea of what you want to do - so keep doing it!

[Jimmy V]

It's not the kind of thing I listen to much but I really enjoyed it, thanks for posting it. And the look at 2:20 made me ROAR with laughter. Good shit!

[jeremyb]

Had some really nice moments Raf, me likey!!! But stop moving so much so I can see that guitar more!!!

[rob_on_guitar]

I been listening to this track quite a bit!
I like the opening chords alot, one thing Id probably do is double all the rythmn gats and you already mentioned the drums :p
The start is sweet, then it goes super sweet at 00:36 - 00:53, awesomeage!
Also worthy mentions are 2:12 - 2:23 & 3:31 - 3:40ish, kick ass!

If I were to put my 5 cents in, at around 2:49 would be a nice place to add a 30 sec little break for the song, keeping the flow but adding some dynamics, then I'd probably come back and join up around where the song is at 4:28.

Don't know if that made sense, but this song will be killer!

Thanks rob I can definitely see/hear what you mean about a break of some sort at 2:49. Good idea, thanks. So you'd shorten the song overall as well, by the sound of it

I kinda gave my advice/opinion of just how I would do it, it's a killer track as is, but yea, Id shorten it, keep the listener wanting more, with instrumentals its a funny thing, too long and the greatest tune can get boring, the listener is satisfied what he/she heard and doesnt really come back whether they liked it or not, however for someone to think "Wow that was a cool part....maybe Ill give another listen", timing, length of song is pretty important. But if I listen as a guitar player I want it to go for ages, if I listen as general non-muso my attention span drops.
Also it sounds like you were building up to this climactic part around the 2:49 area and seems to miss a prime opportunity to let the hair down rip out the beast.... but Im thinking too much change may also change the flavour of the tune.

Either way Im still liking it, some good advice from the others though.

[Tsuken]

My initial thoughts were in the Sam Browne vein, but the 'problem' with Sam's approach is that he essentially wants to hear a different piece of music by a different player. I understand where he's at on that, but it's obvious that you're playing a type of music and style of playing that you want to, so it's kind of weird to expect you to drop everything and do something else with it.

So my advice is within the box, so to speak: Work on your timing when improvising. Outside of the melody parts many of the lines were a bit floaty in relation to the backing, especially when you get busy on it. If your interest is that 80s style instrumental guitarist thing you're not going to really make your schtick sound musical until your lines really sound they were played with the piece rather than lathered on top. And the key to that is rhythm, especially when improvising. Sounding like you mean it is really just never losing the one, especially at the end of a line. Pretty much anyone (yourself included, I'm sure) can write and piece together coherent stuff bit by bit, but to do that while improvising requires a lot of listening and really being in the moment.

Try the old 'sing as you play' thing for a bit. It really works. It can get a bit 'speaking in tongues' when you're doing fast stuff, but it's a great way of synchronising the end of a line in your head with your hands. And the way you end a fast line is in many ways more critical to what the line is or even whether you go a bit all over the place timing-wise in the middle. As Greg Howe once said: it doesn't really matter what notes you play, as long as the phrase makes sense.

Personally I found this stuff really hard. I used to record myself and listen to the lines and how I'd blow past the one and lose any sense of phrasing, and it was very hard to tell myself that while my fingers were fast and synchronised I really wasn't able to turn that physicality into music. In effect I had to tell myself I didn't have the chops I thought I had after all.

Anyways, that's my opinion. It might seem a bit disconnected when other folks are saying things like 'sweet chops' but it's honestly what I'm hearing. And I get the feeling that if you got on top of what I'm talking about you'd enjoy what you do even more than you do now. That can't be a bad thing.

Honestly I know my chops are actually a lot worse than many/most people seem to think. I have a reasonable amount of flash, I guess you could say, but that's not the same thing. I definitely know what you're saying, and truthfully it's the melody sections I like on this much (much) more than the solo. Maybe Rob's suggestion of chopping that is the best It's what? 5 minutes or something now - if I add a 30 second break it probably would get a little silly.

Cheers mate

[TmcB]

If I could make a suggestion; change the effects you've got on the gat.
Being the musician I am, as soon as I hear delayed gainy guitar, I switch off. A lot of what people will rag on is the fact its a tired old sound that lots of crap guitarists use to cover up their rubbish playing. You're not a crap guitarist, so stripping back the layers of effects will not harm the sound.

Take off the delay, lower the gain, and I think you'll have something quite cool.