NZGuitars.com

Been a long while since I made a meaningful post... I've been trying to de-digitise myself lately, but this forum still feels like a nice place to me!

I'll be honest, I've not being doing great. This decade sucks so far. I've been through a bunch of shit things made worse by the pandemic - mostly death and divorce.

I also managed to destroy my band along the way.

A friend told me that originals bands are always hard to sustain. When you're fully into it 200% it's just exhausting and frustrating after a while, especially if you aren't getting anywhere. That feels like where we got to. But I made it much worse. I ended up telling the bass player I didn't respect him as a musician. And I didn't say it nicely - I laid out all the reasons why, and said because of all that, I didn't think of him as an equal member of the band. The main thing that did my head in was that he was incapable of learning by ear. Every song, he had to get me to send him a video tutorial. And it took him weeks to learn things. We got to the studio for our second album and he still hadn't learned all his parts - I had to play some of them. And it wasn't hard stuff! This is moronic doom metal we're talking about...

But if I'm honest, I didn't really like him as a person. And that's toxic shit in a band.

Fucking hard getting all the stars to align... I'm going to play covers for a while! Surrender to the wagon wheel...

Thanks for sharing man, its hard when you put your all into something if others involved aren't capable of or doing the same.

My only advice is be kind to yourself, do things that make you happy and try to be around positive people, you don't need negative people bringing you down

Dude... hate to hear it. If you ever want to chat you've got my phone number (I think, if not just PM me on here) and I'm always down for a jam/muck around if you wanna.


And yeah... band stuff is hard. It feels like a family dynamic so you feel a certain kind of way about saying your feelings... when in reality its something which should be enjoyable and furthering whatever goals you have for that band and you should be able to go for what you want and what makes you happy.

Much respect for doing originals. And it's hard to galvanize all in an untested direction. All the best.